Fixing Fifth Edition

It's looking more and more likely that my options for local RPG play will be severely curtailed unless I can suck it up and get over the worst of my issues with D&D 5th Edition. I've suspected this for a while now, but as everyone gets increasingly busy with schooling and work (except me - I got downsized this past Friday), I may have to take a few hesitant steps into the hypodermic-needle-strewn oceanfront that is public gaming.

I've said before that the ultimate core of 5e isn't one that I have issues with; I cut my teeth on Pathfinder, and after several years of AD&D 2nd Edition I can see why certain design decisions were made. The main problem is the guff that has accumulated from years of poor thinking and bad influences (not all of which can be blamed on 4e), and the way that completely green players have had their assumptions set and their preferences shaped by bad refereeing passing itself off as good. There are a few relatively easy things that I could do to limit this, and make a game more to my taste that can still be played in by those who have already sunk $150 or more into the currently supported product line.


Trim the fat. I've written about this before, but there are certain races and classes that simply are not needed. The WOTC has made the removal of the former much simpler by splitting dragonborn, gnomes, half-elves, half-orcs, and tieflings off from the core four races in the Player's Handbook; I might be lenient on gnomes and half-orcs, but half-elves are completely unnecessary if there are no class restrictions by race; dragonborn and tieflings simply don't fit within any setting that I'd care to run.

Where classes are concerned, I'd simply say: no barbarians, sorcerers, or warlocks. If someone complains, I'll point out that wild magic, power-lending petty gods, and Mike & Spike don't fit in my setting either.

Reduce the prevalence of magic. The simplest way to do this is just to disallow cantrips entirely. I love the idea of cantrips, but in 5e they're just laser pistols; to keep the effects, I'd probably allow them to be learned and cast as 1st-level spells. Magic items seem to be another persistent problem, but the designers of the game have actually done half of my work for me:

Selling magic items is problematic. Finding someone to buy a potion or a scroll isn't too hard, but other items are out of the realm of most but the wealthiest nobles. Likewise, aside from a few common magic items, you won't normally come across magic items or spells to purchase. The value of magic is far beyond simple gold and should always be treated as such. (Player's Handbook, p. 144)

What the heck? I agree 99% with this. It seems that it's merely incompetent refereeing that gave me the impression of magic shops popping up on every corner. Perhaps prospective "Dungeon Masters" should take time to actually, you know, read the books that they spend so much money on.

Use common sense to fill in the gaps. According to Rules As Written, it's entirely possible to make a halfling character who fights using two rapiers. For those whose only knowledge of Renaissance weaponry comes second- or third-hand from lazy video games, the blade of a typical rapier is at least 40 inches long - that's three feet, four inches. The typical halfling in 5e is about 36 inches tall.

There are a number of small things that lead up to this idiocy. AD&D 2nd Edition had penalties for two-weapon fighting (and restricted it to warriors and rogues), disallowed using two of the same weapon unless it was two daggers, and had rules for weapon size (not just weight) limiting the options available to Small characters. 5e has... none of these things.

As referee, I would not let any of this absurdity fly at my table, no matter how many other "Dungeon Masters" are perfectly happy to do so because it's in the rulebook and, well, after all, it's really about having fun, right? Right?

(Possibly) Limit players to the Basic Rules and/or SRD. Using only the Basic Rules would prevent a lot of the race and class griping, while both them and the System Reference Document have less of the forced complexity that one finds in the PHB. Funnily enough, as I was writing this post I came across the news (thanks to Akrasia) that the newer, combined Basic Rules document is available.

The reason this is a "maybe" is that I really, really like the Assassin archetype for rogues. Hey, nobody's perfect.

No fixing this, I'm afraid...